1. ” If you are ugly, you are ugly stop talking about inner beauty, we don’t walk around with X-Rays”
2. “Nothing makes a woman more confused than a broke man who is extremely good in bed”
3. ” it’s better for a man to be stingy with his money because he hustled for it than a woman deny you a hole she didn’t drill”
4. “No girl will choose six-pack over six cars, stop going to the gym and work”
5. ” Africans have no time to rest, even after death they have to work as ancestors”
6. ” It’s hard to bewitch African girls these days, each time you take a piece from her hair to a witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire”
7. ” If you can shave your eyebrows completely and redraw them with an eye pencil, don’t ask for money to do your hair, you can equally shave your head bald and draw the weave of your choice”
8. ” At least I left my people with land, Mandela left his with poems, quotes, and a statue”
9. ” You cannot give a woman everything she needs, if God himself gave them eyebrows, they shave it and draw their own, God gave them nails, they cut if off and fix their own, he gave them breast, they repackage it to what they want, God still gave them buttocks, they arrange it to the size they want, if even God can’t satisfy them, then who are you to think that you can please them? My brother don’t kill yourself”
10. “Virginity is the best wedding gift any man would receive from his newly wedded wife, but lately, there is nothing like that any longer because it has been given out as a birthday gift, token of appreciation, job assurance, church collection, taxi fare”.
11. “King Solomon had 700 wives and cheated on them with 300 concubines, and God still loved him, your husband cheats on you with one woman and we can’t have peace, My sister, keep calm and read the bible”.
12. The distance between Egypt and Israel is about 613 Km(380 miles)but it took Moses and the Israelites 40 years to complete their journey. On average each day they walked 43 meters, yes 43 meters, almost half of what Usain Bolt does in 5 seconds, I just wish Moses was around to explain his laziness”
13. “Racism will never end as long as white cars are still using black tires, Racism will never end if people still use black to symbolize bad luck and white for peace, Racism will never end if people still white clothes for weddings and black clothes for funerals, Racism will never end as  long as those who don’t pay their bills are blacklisted not whitelisted, even when playing snooker, you haven’t won until you’ve sunk the black ball and white ball must remain on the table, but I don’t care as long as I’m still using white toilet paper to wipe my black butt I’m fine”
14. ” South Africans will kick down a statue of a dead white man, but won’t attempt to slap a live one, yet they stone to death a black man simply because he is a foreigner”
15. “Don’t take relationship advice from your mother if you don’t know your father”
16. “Any man who successfully convinces a monkey that honey is sweeter than a banana is capable of selling condoms to a Roman father”.
17. “Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a ‘girlfriend’.”
18. “Help a girl when she is in trouble and she will surely remember you when she is in trouble again!”
19. “All I hear always is, ‘No sex before marriage?’ If that was God’s plan, then you would receive your penis or vagina on your wedding day”
20. “I stopped trusting women when my third-grade girlfriend left me for another boy all because he bought a sharpener with a mirror”

These are 20 quotes from Robert Mugabe that I found to be very funny yet thought-provoking. Robert Mugabe asked a very interesting question to a journalist who wasn’t able to answer him. This was in 2013 when he was 89 years old.

Reporter:  Sir, don’t you think 89 years old will be a great time to retire as president?

Robert Mugabe: Have you ever asked the Queen this question or is it just for African leaders ???

This piece is dedicated to my brother, he knows who he is!!!